Monday, September 25, 2006

What do you think Mom meant by this?


To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs,

The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the other end is not the object.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years--canine attendance is not required.

The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog's butt. I cannot stress this enough!


ranger said...

your mom has a lot of rules like my mom. sometimes it's hard out there for a dog!


JustMeCopper said...

Those are unfair rules!!! Doxies, I am on your side!

Tigersan said...

Secret exit from the bathroom!!! Me must start looking for this ;)

But for that last one... me can relate to the humans... such as please don't drink THAT and then kiss me ;)

Ivy said...

your mom is very silly. it seems that she thinks you care about rules and such. as if!

i haf trained my peepol to think that i care about theyr rules... but only wen they are around! wenever i get the house to myself it is time for ivy rules!

Isabella said...

Rules are meant to be broken- I read that some where!
Big Wags,

Cubby said...

Oh silly mommies. I suggest you eat the list. Since there are three of you, she won't know who did it!

Dachsies Rule said...

Hey Cubby, that may be the best idea yet! Then we can break all of the people rules like Isabella says and replace them with Dachsies Rules!